How to Help Someone
Who is Facing a Terminal Illness
Tips From Duke Community Hospice
Be a good listener. Allow them to describe their experience without interruptions or attempts to help them feel better. It is important for them to be able to tell their story to someone who is willing to listen.
Learn the art of not doing or saying but simply being present. Provide a non-anxious, comfortable presence.
Remember to ask them what they need. Don't assume. At a time when so many things are out of their control, it is important to help in the best way you can without taking away or infringing on their independence.
Let them cry; let them laugh. Allow them to share their emotions with you, whatever they might be. Pain isolates; the expression of feelings reconnects and bonds.
Practice random acts of kindness. Small gestures can make all the difference. Bring special foods, candles, lotions, silk pillowcases - things that provide comfort.
Help their family. Invite the family out. Offer to come and give them a break from caregiving.
Offer encouragement to the family. Supportive words and acknowledgment of the tough job caregivers have can provide a positive impact. Tell them what a good job they are doing.
Encourage the caregivers to care for themselves. Help them recognize that it is especially important during this time to pay attention to their own physical, emotional and spiritual needs.
Group Caregiving
There are other ways to help as well. There is a concept called group caregiving. One model is called Share the Care. Step-by-step instructions for how to initiate the Share the Care model are available in book form. Friends can organize to help another friend. Friends and family can organize to help a burnt out caregiver. The concept is caring and loving. The results have the potential to be life affirming. |
Volunteer activities are defined by using supplied templates to create an online interface. Individuals are then invited to become members of the community. "Through an intuitive interface that requires no training, volunteers can then easily view and sign up for any number of available tasks, review their current commitments, and be confident they won’t forget any assignments as the system automatically sends out email reminders of upcoming obligations." "Community members also have access to the community’s private message boards, photo galleries, resource sections for sharing relevant web links and documents, and even a Well Wishes wall. Any number of custom community sections can be created by the Coordinators to enrich the flow and sharing of information within the community, keeping all members, near and far ‘in the loop’." They answer questions such as:
Bottom line the service is a simple, immediate way for friends, family, colleagues, and neighbors to assist loved ones in need. It’s an easy-to-use, private group calendar, specifically designed for organizing helpers, where everyone can pitch in with meals delivery, rides, and other tasks necessary for life to run smoothly during times of medical crisis, end-of-life caring, or family caregiver exhaustion. It’s also a place to keep these ‘circles of community’ informed with status updates, photo galleries, message boards, and more. |
| Hospice organizations also may provide volunteer teams to assist the family. Typically, this would be a very organized effort including training and scheduling. |
|
In
North Carolina, an organization called Project Compassion
organizes volunteer teams to help individuals who are facing
death or a serious illness. 
